Write the name “Governor Greg Abbott” in large letters on a sheet of paper. Bring that, a knife or scissors, a trowel or small shovel, a lighter or matches, a folding table or other raised surface, a glass, wine or other liquid.
Set the table down outside where you can dig a small hole. Dig a hole next to it, a few inches deep. Leave the trowel on the ground next to it.
You are now ready to begin. You will say the practitioner’s part. Any others around will say the “others” part.
To begin, tap the glass with the knife and say “ave Satanas”. Then pour the wine or other liquid into the glass.
Practitioner: Governor Greg Abbott chooses to force his beliefs on others. He belches forth the infection of his vile, Catholic malignancy across his entire state. His belief in the personhood of the waste from abortions and miscarriages is being forced on all the women of Texas.
Practitioner: As his beliefs are forced on them so shall we adopt his beliefs for the ritual, and so shall they be turned against him.
Others: Hail Satan!
Practitioner: We do not believe in Satan. Satan is merely a metaphorical construct. Greg Abbott believes in Satan. We take up the belief of the enemy! Greg Abbott’s Satan is real to him, and so shall it be with us, until our work is done. Until it is done!
Others: Hail Satan!
Practitioner: We do not believe in hell, but Greg Abbott believes in hell.
Others: We take up the belief of the enemy!
Practitioner: Hell is real to Greg Abbott, and so shall it be with us, until our work is done. Until it is done!
Others: Hail Satan!
Practitioner: We do not believe in souls. Greg Abbott believes he has an eternal soul.
Others: We take up the belief of the enemy!
Practitioner: To Greg Abbott, his eternal soul is real, and so shall it be with us, until our work is done. Until it is done!
Others: Hail Satan!
Practitioner: We do not believe in an after life, but Greg Abbott believes in an eternal afterlife.
Others: We take up the belief of the enemy!
Practitioner: An eternal afterlife burning in Hell is real to Greg Abbott, and so shall it be with us, until our work is done. Until it is done!
Others: Hail Satan!
Cut the paper in six pieces, wad them up and place them in the hole.
Practitioner: With the beliefs of the enemy, I send Greg Abbott to hell, to burn and be tortured by Satan forever.
Others: Hail Satan!
Set the paper on fire and let it burn.
Practitioner: For every misery he causes, so shall he be paid back tenfold, eternal immolation in hell, eviscerated by Satan’s pitchfork.
Others: Hail Satan!
Bury the remains of the Greg Abbott effigy.
Practitioner: With the enemy, so go his beliefs. We return his putrid insanity to rot in his malignant brain.
Others: Hail Satan!
Drink from the glass, tap it with the knife. When the sound fades, say, “so it is done.”