The founding of UAoS

If this religion had been founded thousands of years ago, it might start off with a lot of “Yeah, the word has been revealed!” and “Lo! Hear now the truth!” kind of talk. But we are in the third millennium of Common Era, and our enlightenment comes from rationality rather than some kind of “illuminated word” of a spirit.

So instead of a lot of flowery proclamations, the best introduction to the United Aspects of Satan is simply a letter from our founder:

But What Is It All For, Damien?

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Hail Satan!